Confession today
God, this is my first confession that written on my own blog, not really my own, but someone (with all of his/her kindness) brought this free one to us.
Sometimes I just want to start over, maybe I wasn’t raised right or what.. but I’m just not interesting, I don’t do anything, I can’t talk to people right, I don’t feel right. I wanted to be a programmer, but writing some codes hurts my head. I forgot almost everything I learned in college, I think I need medication but I don’t want to talk to a counselor. When people ask me “Whats wrong?” it cuts into me like a knife, because I don’t know… and it hurts because I should be happy but I can’t speak right, I forget people’s names. I feel so stupid, but I know I’m smarter than alot of people, but it sucks because I can’t use it right, I can’t improve, I’m not learning or working or anything.
Sometimes pain just… grips me and I want to cry. I feel like a burden, and a pervert. I’m so lost without You. I have missed almost all the time that I can spoke right to You.. I’m so lazy, I hate that. I get all enthused about something and I create one or two remarkable things and then it just… dies. I can’t create any more, I lose the skills I can’t commit. I don’t know what to do.
My Lord, please forgive me, I have been blind, unwilling to see the true love you’re giving. I have ignored every blessing. Now, I’m on my knees confessing: i’m so despert without Your guidelines..
